yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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