Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
