Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
