shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
