i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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