I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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