and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
