Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
