I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
