where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If I die, sorry about rent.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
