Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
