By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My dick has a subreddit
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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