just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
