You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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