so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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