Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Green mimosas i think yes
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
