Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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