I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
