maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
