I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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