I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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