I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
