AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
