dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
