please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
