Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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