Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
