Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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