so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
