Swine flu. Run for my life!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
