Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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