wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
