i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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