let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
