i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think my vagina is haunted
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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