his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
