As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
