Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
