Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
