Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
