She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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