she looked like the bat from fern gully.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
