At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
