I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
