Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
