You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
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