I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
You smell like stripper and shame
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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