If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
