I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
