I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
