I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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