So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
